Well you all know that my dad disappeared from my life when I was a year old. My mom tried her best to talk about him in a positive light around me and my brother. His parents attended the same church so that we would see them on a weekly basis. They were alcoholics all of my dad's growing up years, but I didn't know them then. My grandpa had a major stroke, and he became a Christian. He was in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. I was so proud to wheel my grandpa up the aisle at church. I loved him very much, and I loved my grandma too. When I was eight years old, my grandpa died. I was devastated. It was my first experience with death, and it was heartbreaking.
When we went to the funeral, we didn't sit with the family, and I didn't understand. I was his granddaughter and he loved me a lot. What I didn't understand was my dad was there and my mom didn't want to be anywhere near him. At the graveside a man came up to me and said hello. He introduced the woman he was with and he talked about how big I had gotten. My brother was at my side as soon as he started talking to me. The man also talked to my brother, the same kind of small talk. My brother's answers were short, and he told the man that we had to go. As we walked away I asked my brother why he was mad, and who that man was. My brother snidely answered that's our dad. I was shocked and immediately looking around hoping to get another glance of him. Then I asked, "Who was that woman with him?" his answer was short, "another wife, I supposed." I continued to look for him, and caught a couple of glimpses. I was so excited to see him, and hoped I would get to talk again, but my brother made sure I didn't get close to him again.
It was just a couple of months, before my mom sat us down, and asked if we would like to see our dad. I was thought it would be awesome, it was almost Christmas time, and what a wonderful gift! My brother was hesitant, but in light of my joy he agreed. It had to be in December when he came around because we did all the Christmas time things. My dad took my brother and I to cut down a REAL tree! We played games together and we had a lot of fun. My dad was there on Christmas day and the presents were awesome! I got a Barbie dream house that year, it was just what I wanted, but we would have never been able to afford it. It was a wonderful time, everyone was happy. My brother even started to come around and trust him. The only time I remember my dad mad, was when he found out his mother was going to remarry. It had only been six months, and he didn't like the new man in her life. Other than that there were no arguments, no yelling, it was perfect.
But of course nothing lasts forever..... My dad was amazed that I could cook. I was 9 years old, and it was the end of January and I was making his birthday dinner, it was spaghetti, his favorite. He was sitting in the living room, and I brought him a big glass of milk as a joke. He was allergic to milk, I laughed hard and gave the milk to my brother. I then brought him and my mom a glass of sweet tea. My brother came into the kitchen to set the table. A few minutes went by and my dad came into the kitchen and asked for a raincheck. I said "sure," having no idea what a raincheck was. My mouth dropped to the floor as he walked out the front door, got in his car and left. I asked what he meant, and my mom explained it to me. The next morning my brother was up early. He was going fishing with dad. But dad never came, never called, he was just gone, and we didn't know why. I saw my brother harden that day, my mom tried to make it better, but he just wanted to be left alone.
What I learned many years later was that my mom and dad had considered getting back together. Don't ask about the woman at the funeral, cause I don't know. My dad figured since they were getting back together and he had given her a little money that he could deduct at least one of us kids on his taxes. My mom said no so he left. He left for years, I didn't hear anything from him again for quite awhile, which is another story for another day.
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